Yes, that’s right- it’s time to talk about WEIRD NINJA TURTLE GIRLFRIENDS!! I mean, it’s hard to imagine a piece of fiction about teenage boys without adding their crushes into things, but the various TMNT series have always been rather sparse with that. The young age of the fans (meaning you have to take “EW- GIRLS!” into effect) and the fact that they’re half-human terrapins plays into things. So there’s only a handful of these, and they are very often the most G-rated couplings you’ll ever see, or just barely hinted at.

Lotus: “You have analyzed the genetic code of TURTLES… I need that code.
Marine Biologist: “Yeah? And what will you do if I REFUSE?”
Lotus: “THIS! HI-YA!” *karate chops giant oak desk in half*
Marine Biologist: “Just curious. t’sin the red folder.”

LOTUS BLOSSOM
-Lotus Blossom is quite well-known in the TMNT fandom for a pair of episodes in which she and Leonardo maintained a… somewhat flirtacious relationship. Not as much as Michaelangelo/Kala, but it was definitely there. More of a “Mutual Respect/Let’s Run Off Together And Kick Ass” kind of thing. Her debut episode is a bit funny, as right away she’s introduced as a Lady Ninja mercenary ass-kicker (with an exaggerated Faux Japanese accent) who easily defeats Shredder, Rocksteady and Bebop in hand-to-hand combat! Krang, it turns out, has hired her to replace the always-failing Shredder, and she runs off the three villains before taking over as Krang’s force commander. However, she finds herself nearly drawing with Leo, and develops a respect for him (he is, of course, IMMEDIATELY smitten, despite their interaction only consisting of one fight). Alas, their “Swordfighting” has some of the worst fight choreography I’ve ever seen- it’s just kind of them awkwardly clanging their blades together with their arms stretched out. Also, at one point Bebop’s voice comes out of Rocksteady.

-Later, they meet on the field of battle again, and she tries to convince him to run off with her as a “Ninja For Hire”, but Leo refuses. In the end, she turns on Krang and teams up with the Turtles, running off to continue as a mercenary. “There is little gold in goodness”, she sadly replies to Leo, but hopes that they may meet again some day. There’s a pretty easy way to connect Lotus with Karai (who first appeared in comics after this episode came out)- both are Japanese Kunoichi (lady ninjas) who have admirable-rivalries with Leo that are easily-taken for romantic feelings.

-Lotus is a curious example of Power Levels in the series, as she’s around Leo’s equal, but New Villain Stink has her see off Shredder with a couple of moves- really, she kicks him once, then judo-flips him after he counter-attacks, and he ends up covered in oil. Rocksteady & Bebop soon end up in the same puddle, then covered with FEATHERS (where did she get a PILLOW from?), and Shredders leaves, humiliated. She manages to beat Leo a couple of times, but he’s good enough to impress her. And hilariously, despite fighting like a bad-ass, she runs like a “stereotypical girl”- with arms flailing about at her sides.

This will never not be weird.

—

“The character of Mona Lisa was created for the old show by someone working for Fred Wolf. What many people do not know was that she was originally supposed to be a female mutant turtle, but Kevin and I put our foot down (this was back when we both agreed that a female turtle was a lame, stupid, creatively bankrupt idea) and they changed her to some kind of lizard.”
-Peter Laird

MONA LISA

-One of the more famous one-off characters in the TMNT franchise is Mona Lisa, largely because of her relationship with Raphael. She was a college physics student who was kidnapped by an evil pirate (he wanted her help with his experiments), and was mutated after trying to sabotage his ship’s nuclear reactor. She greatly resembled the Turtles, but on orders from Eastman & Laird (specifically, “NO FEMALE TURTLES!”), she was a “salamander” instead- instead of a shell, she just looked like a green nudist, complete with “Tertiary Sexual Characteristics” like long hair, curves and breasts- like Sonic The Hedgehog‘s Princess Sally, this probably only INCREASED her potential fanbase…). Following the Turtles back to New York… she was never seen again. Though really, her & Raph have all of five minutes of interaction, and most of that is just her flashback (called as such by Raph)- there’s only a handful of hints of attraction- Raph saying she’s “kinda cute” instead of a “Freak!”, and when she hugs him out of joy a couple of times. And of course he’s mooning over her a bit in the end. But for ’80s cartoons, that’s basically like that scene from Bound, so you can see how the fans would dwell on that.

-Mona Lisa was a creation for the ’80s cartoon, rapidly switched from a turtle to a salamander or something because of a “NO FEMALE TURTLES” edict from Eastman & Laird, but she stuck with the fanbase for a while, thanks to a short interaction with Raphael. So two modern TMNT incarnations- the Nick toon and the IDW Comics, have used her as well.

-In the Nick Toon, she is Y’Gythgba, a Salamandran warrior at odds with the Triceraton Empire. An angry person who doesn’t trust easily, she has a similar personality to Raphael, and the two quickly grow close during a battle with the Triceratons- she beats his ass, which he’s immediately attracted to, and he later saves her against some Ice Dragons and she finds him “noble”. Within an episode or two, they’re basically in love, but are sometimes kept apart by space shenanigans. She wields a Laser Sword and Exploding Discs.

-In IDW, she’s a random newbie popping up thanks to a Mutagen Bomb- created by Kevin Eastman & Sophie Campbell (the artist behind the updated Jem & The Holograms book), she was a normal girl mutated into a salamander creature. She appears to have more of a crush on Donatello, as she’s a physics student and he’s a genius.

-A similar-ish character, an alien salamander chick, had a combative relationship with Raphael in a recent Nick TMNT episode. She was like, SUPER-obsessed with honor and junk, and fought the Turtles with her allies for a while, but grew to respect Raph and his pals- her Turtlepedia bio is roughly as long as the Sigmarillion, and I didn’t watch the latter bit of the season, but apparently lots of stuff happened. In 1992, Mona received her own toy, like a lot of what were by that point “Toon Only” characters- here, she had black hair and a bunch of silly weapons.

See in 1992 or whatever you wouldn’t look at this and go “FURRY!” and think someone was gonna fap to it- anthro characters were common via TMNT and other franchises, and most weren’t drawn sexually. But years and years of being on the internet I now immediately recognize that the artist was a furry, lol.

NINJARA (Umeko)

-Similar to Mona Lisa was Ninjara, a female fox-ninja (a Kitsune Kunoichi, if you will) introduced in the Archie Comics. She debuted in 1992, shortly after Mona did, and was a love interest for Raphael like she was. She was a thief & assassin working for a dog-man named Chien Khan, but had a change of heart when she met the Turtles. She actually spent FORTY ISSUES with the team off and on, but ultimately left Raphael when she felt she was no longer in love with him, moving on with a guy named Mokoshan instead. She was created by writers Stephen Murphy and Chris Allan, and this allowed them to keep on using her, as the rights to the TMNT were only for Eastman & Laird or TV creations. They released a comic called Ninjara: Seed of Destruction for the furry anthology Furrlough– here, she was now a widow (Mokoshan had since died), lasting for three separate issues.

-Humorously, the “Possible Antagonist Turned Girlfriend of Raphael” trope was used AGAIN in the IDW Comics, as an arctic-fox lady named Alopex shows up there, allied with the Foot Clan, but ultimately turns on them and aides the Turtles. She goes on a few adventures with them, having a vague relationship with Raphael, and the two finally kiss.