Oh no. Well; this brings back awful memories. Apple Jacks isn’t Pop-Tarts’ first foray into making cereal flavored Tarts. They previously tried this with Fruit Loops, and as you can see from the link I posted, those were ABOMINABLE. Just absolutely sickly sweet garbage people food. Right down there with Watermelon on the list of “I can’t even finish these” Tarts. It was a big … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Apple Jacks

Banana Bread is a myth. Here is my proof: Every so often, my wife and I will buy bananas. And, as bananas do, sometimes they go REAL brown before we eat them all. At that point, my wife will say, “Oh! I’ll freeze them, and then eventually, I will make some banana bread!” You know what my wife has never ever made? Banana Bread. So … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Banana Bread

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Wait, is that… this isn’t that holiday, is it? Well, whatever; I found a store that was recently selling this flavor of Pop-Tarts, and while they feel like a holdover from the holiday season several months ago at this point, they are the Tarts I have for this holiday! (Yes, these were definitely held onto for a while; this box expires THIS MONTH … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Gingerbread

Pop-Tarts keeps using words I don’t know. Like Cobbler. Now Fritter. What is that? It makes me think of a… small rodent. Is this the flavor of a small rodent that just ate an apple? Is that what I want from my breakfast? What is that picture on the box next to the name? It looks like something somebody stepped on. Is that the small … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Apple Fritter

First: I always get Churros and Crepes confused! I think the reason for that–aside from the fact that they are both foreign treats that start with a C–is that when I was in the Dominican Republic*, I had crepes once. And so I assume crepes are more Hispanic than they actually are. It’s the only time I had a crepe! My wife was lost on … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Day Of The Dead!

I rather infamously do not like coffee. Even before I cut any relevant amount of caffeine out of my life about 15 years ago, I did not drink coffee. Shit’s gross, guys;I don’t know how you do it. If I did drink coffee, it would 100% have to be one of those versions that has twelve words in the name, at least eight of which … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Mocha Latte

I’m supposed to make a witty Stranger Things pop culture reference here, aren’t I? Like… “Oh, an Eggo flavored Pop-Tart! That’s one of the Stranger Things I’ll see today! I bet the flavor is turned up to Eleven!” (Actually, that… that was good. I should have just led off with that after all) Anyway, the reason I was reluctant to do so initially is because … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Eggo Flavor!

I don’t… I don’t drink coffee. Never have, actually. When I was younger, I just thought it was gross as shit (it is!), but then, in my mid-20’s, I just cut out almost all caffeine from my life entirely, so even if I had been drinking it… I wouldn’t be now. (I wish I could say I felt appreciable differences before and after dropping caffeine. … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Boston Creme Pie

IN A WORLD WHERE SOME PEOPLE THINK “SALT” AND “SWEET” BELONG TOGETHER, POP-TARTS HAS YOUR BACK. USUALLY YOU WILL FIND PRETZELS TO BE TWISTY-TURNEY TREATS, BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE… FLAT? THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! I don’t know that there is a single mall around me that doesn’t have, like, at least TWO Auntie Anne’s Pretzel Shops. And usually in close proximity to one another. … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Pretzel Tarts

Sometimes, when Pop-Tarts releases a new flavor, I think “Well, this might be terrible, but I do need to try it for the #PTQ. I’ll just buy an 8-pack, and if I hate them, no great loss. You know the classic 8-pack box! Four foil packets, two Pop-Tarts each. That’s how we’ve been buying Pop-Tarts for years. But no. When Pop-Tarts release these “Eh, I’m … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest – Peach Cobbler

Guess who’s back. Back again! Pop-Tart Quest is back! Tell a friend. Pop-Tart’s back, Pop-Tart’s back, Pop-Tart’s back, Pop-Tart’s back do do do do do! This is… Pop-Tart Quest! What are you doing with your life, Kellogg’s? It’s been months since the last edition of the #PTQ, and that hasn’t been because I don’t care about my loyal  PTCuties; it’s because they haven’t been releasing … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Fruit Loops

Sometimes an article series disappears for months at a time before making a triumphant, if temporary return! Maybe it’s not the author’s fault! Maybe there hasn’t been anything new to write about! Ever think about that? No, you only think of yourself! I’m so tired of your nagging ALL THE TIME. This is… POP-TART QUEST Wait, did you forget about Pop-Tart Quest? That is disheartening. Let me (and that link … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Chocolate Cupcake