THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! UH, THAT IS ALL THIS WEEK. Fruit pies are the worst kind of pies. There are probably people out there that prefer fruit-based pies to, say, cream-centric pies, but I pity them as human beings, I feel sorry for their descendants, and they can not eat lunch at my table. They... Continue Reading →
IN A WORLD WHERE KELLOGG'S PUTS OUT FAR FEWER NEW POP-TARTS FLAVORS THAN THEY USED TO, SOMETIMES THERE ARE HUGE GAPS IN THESE ARTICLES! THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! WHO DARES AWAKEN ME FROM MY POP-TART SLUMBER?! Oh, hey there! It's been... several weeks since our last journey together down Sludge Road. But yeah, I'm STILL... Continue Reading →
I REALLY FEEL LIKE KELLOGGS AND POP-TARTS ARE JUST IGNORING ME AT THIS POINT. I'M NEVER GOING TO GET MY DISCONTINUED FLAVORS! THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! As conceivably the laziest person alive--someone who will stop at nothing to do as little work as possible and circumvent any methods by which I will have to do... Continue Reading →
SUPER TIMELY REVIEWS ARE A SPECIALTY HERE, AS WE LOOK AT TREATS RELEASED FOR A HOLIDAY FROM FIVE MONTHS AGO! THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! Pumpkin flavored anything! You know what that means! Wait, can we talk about how terrific The Good Place is? It's in my personal top five sitcoms of all time now, with Arrested Development (network seasons... Continue Reading →
POP-TART QUEST ISN'T RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS! POP-TARTS IS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS! YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS! THIS WHOLE DAMN COURT IS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS! THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! Huh? Wait. Didn't we...? Haven't we been here before? We've definitely done this before, Pop-Tarts! You can't just throw "salted" into the title and... Continue Reading →
GOD BLESS DISCOUNT STORES SELLING OLD STUFF! THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! Woo! Almost missed this one! For whatever reason, I haven't seen a "new" Pop-Tart flavor in quite some time, and I was beginning to think the PTQ might have had to have taken a hiatus after last week's venture. But nope! Thanks to a... Continue Reading →
SINCE THE DAWN OF POP-TART QUEST, ONE TART HAS STRUCK DIRE FEAR INTO OUR BREAKFAST WARRIOR'S HEART. TODAY, HE FACES THAT FEAR. THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! Okay, yeah. So yeah. Yep. I mean... ultimately, how bad could a Pop-Tart be? They are sugar and sludge and shell. It's not landing the Hindenburg; it's breakfast! Like,... Continue Reading →
YOU MIGHT THINK POP-TART QUEST IS OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK NIOW, BUT YOU'D BE WRONG. WEEKS AREN'T THE SAME THING AS YEARS. YOU REALLY SHOULD KNOW BETTER. THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! Pop-Tarts are one of the most unpleasant foods in the world to eat when you have mouth ulcers! It's the perfect storm of pain:... Continue Reading →
This past week, I tried my first ever LIVE POP-TART QUEST VIDEO! It was... a thing that happened. Anyway, if you couldn't be there when it happened, enjoy reliving the experience! https://videopress.com/v/un9FMYSH?resizeToParent=true&preloadContent=metadata
POP-TARTS ARE FOREVER. POP-TARTS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND. BLOOD POP-TARTS. TWO KARAT POP-TARTS. WAIT, NONE OF THESE SOUND RIGHT. THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! I know I have given Pop-Tarts some crap in the past over flavors like Pink Lemonade, Orange Crush, and A&W Root Beer because drinks aren't food. But what if they kind... Continue Reading →
NO PICTURESQUE FOOD THIS WEEK; WE'RE BACK TO POP-TARTS THAT DO NOT DOUBLE AS FINE ART. THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! More smooshing! Pop-Tarts loves to release things thematically nowadays; they do very few solo releases that I can remember in recent months. The Orange Crush and Root Beer flavors came in tandem, and so did... Continue Reading →
NOW THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN WORLDS COLLIIIIIIIIIDE!! ARE YOU READY TO TART? CAUSE I'M READY TO TART... WAIT, SORRY. BUT YES, OUR COMIC BOOK PODCAST WEBSITE THAT REGULARLY REVIEWS POP-TARTS IS ABOUT TO CROSS THE STREAMS, BABY! THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! I mentioned these last week, and I alluded to getting around to... Continue Reading →
POP-TART QUEST BEING OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE, IT IS FINDING A REBELLIOUS STREAK! IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WANT TO EAT SLUDGE-FILLED PASTRIES! MAYBE IT WANTS A NICE SCRAMBLED EGG! YOU'RE NOT EVEN ITS REAL DAD! STILL, THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! So, A&W Root Beer flavored Pop-Tarts were pretty bad. I would never recommend those to anyone... Continue Reading →
NOT ALL POP-TARTS ARE GOOD, BUT THAT DOES NOT MATTER! ALL POP-TARTS MUST BE TRIED! NO MATTER HOW INTIMIDATING IT IS! THAT'S HOW WE FIND OUT WHAT WILL KILL US, RIGHT? THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! Remember those blue Pop-Tarts? No one expected them to be good. I mean, I just LOOKED at those and thought "Well,... Continue Reading →
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