Pop-Tart Quest: Maple Bacon

YOU KNOW WHAT NO ONE HAS EVER DONE? A TOASTER STRUDEL QUEST. BECAUSE TOASTER STRUDELS WEREN'T ACTUALLY THAT GOOD. REMEMBER TOASTER STRUDELS? YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN!  THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! Dear Internet, Bacon is pretty great, right? I think we all agree on that. There is just something about the greasy, salty, crispy properties of... Continue Reading →

Pop-Tart Quest: Chocolatey Caramel

WEEK 8! EIGHT! THAT'S AS MANY AS FOUR PACKETS OF POP-TARTS! AND THAT'S A LOT! THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! Yeah, that looks good, right? I mean... come on! Chocolatey Caramel? I like 100% of those flavors. This was a lay-up. A fastball over the middle. An empty-netter. A [sports euphemism to be added later]. I... Continue Reading →

Pop-Tart Quest: Confetti Cupcake

IT RETURNS TO YOUR BREAKFAST PLATE THIS WEEK--WAIT, HOLD ON... YEAH, IT'S BREAKFAST. WHAT? DESSERT? NO, IT'S... I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S NOT A DESSERT. THEY'RE MEANT TO BE EATEN FOR BREAKFAST. I DON'T KNOW WHY! HOLD ON, I'M BUSY, I'LL BE BACK--WHERE WAS I? THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! Aw, guys. Guys! Did you know that... Continue Reading →

Pop-Tart Quest: Blue Raspberry

IN A WORLD WHERE... HOLY CRAP, LOOK AT THIS WEEK'S POP-TART! WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE? THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! “Hmmm. What flavor of Pop-Tart should I get for the next P.T.Q.?” “I don’t know, but I’m sick of wanting your sweets. Get a flavor I won’t be enticed by”. “Done”.  One of the Unholy... Continue Reading →

Pop-Tart Quest: Hot Fudge Sundae

ANOTHER WEEK, ANOTHER TART, SO IT IS FOR YOUR FEARLESS TASTEVENTURER AS HE UNWRAPS A NEW FOIL PACKET TO SPILL ITS SECRETS UPON THE WORLD. THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! So, back on Week 1 of the Pee-Tee-Cue, I mentioned how Chocolate Chip was the flavor that started The Quest when I caught it glancing at... Continue Reading →

Pop-Tart Quest: Chocolate Peanut Butter

THREE HAVE COME, AND THREE HAVE FALLEN. OUR INTREPID POP-TART WARRIOR MARCHES ON TO DO WHAT NO SANE PERSON EVER COULD... NAY, EVER SHOULD! THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST! Frickin’ Pop-Tarts. All right, fool me once, Pop-Tarts, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I can’t get fooled again. I already see how this goes. Chocolate... Continue Reading →

Pop-Tart Quest: Wildlicious Wild Cherry

HAVING BARELY SCRAPED THE FROSTED SURFACE, YOUR BREAKFAST WARRIOR AND HIS INSATIABLE APPETITE RETURNS! THIS... IS POP-TART QUEST! Deep in the heart of the Amazonian wilderness, entrenched so far into the darkest rain forests that society is less than a distant rumor, there lives many creatures that few mortal men have ever seen. These animals... Continue Reading →

Pop-Tart Quest: Chocolatey Strawberry

WITH THE NIGHTMARES WROUGHT OF CHOCOLATE CHIP GOODNESS BEHIND HIM, YOUR HERO RETURNS WITH ANOTHER STEP INTO THE SEEMINGLY ENDLESS JOURNEY OF DELICOUSNESS! THIS... IS POP-TART QUEST! Sometimes in life--just sometimes--one thinks “I could really go for a Popped Tart-like Treat. But which way to go? There are fruit tarts, and there are also brown... Continue Reading →

Pop-Tart Quest: Chocolate Chip

IN A WORLD WHERE DIABETES PROBABLY MAYBE HOPEFULLY DOESN'T EXIST, ONE MAN STARTS A JOURNEY FROM WHICH HIS BLOOD SUGAR WILL NEVER RECOVER. HIS MISSION: TRY THE POP-TARTS... TRY THEM ALL! THIS IS... POP-TART QUEST.  I’ll be honest... this is the Pop Tart that started Pop Tart Quest as even a zygote of an idea.... Continue Reading →

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