You’ll notice my timestamps are wildly inaccurate for this show; that’s because today was my niece’s third birthday, and I did not get home until after 8:30pm EST.

But fear not; Peacock was a Rewind button! So I’m starting the show over and getting my thoughts together for you! No time for an intro; let’s go!

8:39pm: I’ve rewound to the beginning of Fastlane and am sitting through the pre-show video package. I do not have my headphones on, and there are fireworks outside; I have no idea why. Is it a holiday? Have I… are we celebrating Indigenous Peoples’ Day Weekend with fireworks now? Or do people just have leftover fireworks from the summer they are trying to burn?

8:42pm: Okay, we are starting off with the Tag Team Title match: The Judgment Day vs Cody Rhodes and Jey Use. This is a weird match, right? There’s NO WAY Uso and Cody win this, but they feel too good to just be losing here. So are we getting the super schmozz? We shall see.

8:43pm: As I watch the pre-match video package, it dawns on me that I can, like, totally fast forward this stuff tonight! Plus one point for being late!

8:47pm: Cody’s ring entrance is going on still, and as I sit here and DON’T fast forward, I am humorously reminded of last month’s Payback show that I attended live, and how every burst of fireworks shocked and startled my poor unsuspecting wife.

8:54pm: Jey Uso’s shirt reads “Main Event”, but here he is the opener. That’s just false advertising, Jey.

8:59pm: The referee had his back turned to The Judgment Day, and Priest tagged out to Finn. When the ref turns, Finn is pinning Jey, and the ref makes a two count. Hey, remember the old trope where the Good Guy team would ALWAYS get hit with “The ref didn’t see the tag”? I always hated that spot. It was so corny. I know it’s not super correlative here as Judgment Day aren’t the heroes, but… it reminded me of that. YOU DIDN’T SEE THE TAG, AYERS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

(Ayers is actually my favorite ref, so I’ll allow it)

9:03pm: DELAYED/HANGING VERTICAL SUPERPLEX from Cody to Balor! Well shit! I’m impressed.

9:04pm: Apropos of nothing, I am eating a lemon. Just… a lemon. Anyone else out there just eat straight lemons? It’s good stuff. I don’t recommend drinking lemon juice shots for charity, though. I learned my lesson there, even if we had a good segment.

9:12pm: Cody and Jey won the tag titles? The Judgment Day had the belts for a month? Wow, okay. I obviously did not see that coming! I guess we’re going back to the Judgment Day split angle sooner than I thought.

Not kidding… my mind is actually blown by this as of right now. I really don’t see where we go with Cody and Jey Uso as tag champs. So curious! I’m invested to see what is next.

9:14pm: Okay, now I’m remembering to fast forward through ads and moments of Xavier Woods, Wade Barrett, and Booker T ordering Pizza Hut.

9:16pm: Okay, next up is Bobby Lashley reliving his Hurt Business days with The Street Profits vs Rey Mysterio, Santos Escobar, and a mystery partner. Are there any rumors on who this partner might be? I have not been following along. I guess I’ll find out. MAYBE IT’S CM—no, I’m not putting that out into the universe.

Hey, remember when Punk sang Happy Birthday to Rey’s daughter? Creepy stuff.

9:20pm: As of the start of the match, there is no mystery partner, but the commentary has said Rey made a phone call. Let’s see if that pays off as the match goes on.

9:22pm: Oh, this is the No One Outpizzas The Hut match of the night, I guess, with the banners all over the arena. I guess the Cinnamon Toast Crunch sponsorship is over.  Pizza Hut or CTC, which is a better unhealthy food? Give me your thoughts in the comments!

(CTC all day, by the way)

9:29pm: Hahaha Carlito is the surprise partner? Well, I didn’t see that coming. Too bad he has new entrance music. I miss the old “I spit in the face of people who don’t want to be cool”. And in fairly short order, Carlito wins the match for his team!

9:31pm: Carlito and the LWO’s celebration is cut short to focus on Xavier Woods bringing commentary some Pizza Hut. Okay, time to fast forward!

9:33pm: And just like that, it’s time for the Women’s Title match (I, uh… I forget what the Women’s title belts are called now, so I’m just calling it that). It’s Charlotte vs Iyo Sky vs Asuka. So, in other words, it’s time for Charlotte to win a title that Iyo Sky hasn’t really had much time to do anything with yet. Sigh.

9:37pm: Seriously: COME ON, IYO! I’m cheering here. I’m in my house, many miles away, and I’m cheering. This reign has no business ending yet. Or to Charlotte.

9:39pm: Haha, Asuka using the mist IMMEDIATELY for once. I actually thought Asuka might win there because I m a sucker.

9:42pm: Charlotte is back in a whipping Iyo and Asuka’s asses. I was hoping that every single time Charlotte got into the affair, Asuka would re-mist her; especially after she reappeared to Big Boot Iyo AGAIN. Just: Big Boot to Iyo! Mist. Charlote returns. Big Boot to Iyo. Mist. Charlotte returns. Big Boot to Iyo. Mist. Repeat forever and ever, amen.

9:52pm: Asuka powerbombs Charlotte off the turnbuckles while she has Iyo in a Samoan drop on the second rope. Great spot. This has been a wonderful match, as it was always likely to be with these three.

9:55pm: Here is Bayley to screw things up for Iyo. Or maybe save the day for Iyo! I dunno. We’ll see!

9:56pm: Ah, Bayley saves the day! Iyo hits the Over The Moonsault onto the Figure Eight to retain (though we must protect Charlotte at all costs, so she gets the visual win while Bayley is distracting the ref)! We have to eventually get to Iyo vs Bayley, right? That will be a great feud… let’s just hope it’s for the title and not after Bayley costs Iyo her belt.

9:58pm: Now they are showing us Previously On This Very Show. Fast forward!

10:00pm: When I come out of Fast Forwarding, Pat McAfee is in the ring. And there was apparently, according to him, no way in hell he was going to miss THIS show (really?), on THIS night (sure, why not?), in THIS city (okay, that part makes some sense). After pumping up the crowd by almost seeming to be about to promise a WrestleMania announcement for Indy (which is a great accidental heel move), he brings out John Cena, so I guess it’s time for Cena and LA Knight vs The Bloodline And The Confusing Jimmy Uso Storyline As Of Late.

10:07pm: LA Knight will never win a world title until he changes his finisher. BFT is a great name, but it’s a garbage move. It makes the Skull Crushing Finale look like a Burning Hammer.

But it’s still better than the world title winning The Judas Effect, so what do I know?

10:14pm: LA Knight has not even been in the match yet. They are REALLY building this hot tag. Good match planning.

10:21pm: LA KNIGHT IS IN to a monster pop of course. What a great build to finally get to that point.

10:25pm: Cena and Knight win with the aforementioned BFT. Someone tell this guy to change that move already! Admit it: do YOU see Roman Reigns losing to THAT?

10:27pm: Cena and Knight celebrate, and Heyman calls Roman to say they have a problem here (it was Jimmy Uso who got pinned to lose the match). With that out of the way: fast forward!

10:28pm: Seth Rollins vs Shinsuke Nakamura in a Last Man Standing Match! Does Shinsuke FINALLY get over the hump? Or is he just another transitional feud guy for the champion yet again?

Michael Cole tells me this is Seth’ first ever Last Man Standing match. That’s crazy! And hard to believe. But far be it from me to not believe Michael Cole. I would have assumed Rollins’d have at least one under his belt by now.

10:31pm: I take my headphones off, and the fireworks have apparently been over for a while now. While they are off, my cat knocked over the garbage can to fish out a chicken wing bone. I’m trying to watch wrestling, Chester!

10:37pm: Things I Learned Tonight: Michael Cole calls the famous martial arts weapon NUM-chucks.

But yes, we have a nunchucks siting! I need more nunchucks in my pro wrestling. Bring me back to 1989 when my buddy and I were children making our own nunchucks to play ninja turtles at each other!

10:57pm: Seth is getting up from EVERYTHING, so he’s winning this match, right? He is getting up from mist and being sent off a ladder through a table. Getting Kinshasha’ed through a table. He’s not staying down for nothing, is he? Damn.

11:00pm: Seth Rollins wins moments after I type that with a Falcon Arrow through a table? That… that was it, huh? Man, poor Shinsuke. He just can’t catch a break.

Overall a pretty darn good show with maybe a bit of a disappointing finish to the main event, but you know what? I think we’ve historically been spoiled with crazy Last Man Standing endings. Sometimes you need a Falcon Arrow through a table (after a Curb Stomp that didn’t keep Shin down for 10, so there’s a mitigating circumstance if you want to allow for that) to make us appreciate the match more often.

But the opener was a banger. The six man tag was fine at worst. The Women’s Title match was damn good. Knight and Cena brought a really well-booked drama. And Seth/Shin was quite good to great depending on how the ending worked for you.

Also, if you count Iyo Sky herself as a babyface who is still associating with a heel, did faces win every single match tonight, or am I missing recalling a match?

How often do you see the heroes go unbeaten?

I’m very curious as to what’s next for guys like Knight, Cody & Jey, and Seth. It should be a fun next month en route to… is anything between now and Survivor Series?

In the meantime, if you need more wrestling talk, click HERE to check out my podcast where I interviewed Tyler Breeze!

Until next time… take care!