FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! Episode five of season four is called “BEER BAD”, and I have one-million-percent seen this on lists of “The Worst Episode Of Good Shows”. And after how much I have dug [most of] the first four episodes of this season, that is legitimately disappointing. Let’s see how bad it can be. Because there have been plenty of really bad episodes … Continue reading Veruc Assault: A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E5-6

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! We start off in The Bronze, with Willow and Buffy watching Oz’ band play. The two of them start discussing the Parker character that Buffy met previously while trying to avoid Cathy. They use Network TV Language to insinuate that Buffy sure would like to take him to bed. Also what I just did is also Network TV Language. … Continue reading Parker Abrams Can’t Lose: A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E3-4

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! I can’t believe I’ve done three whole seasons of this show so far. Let’s see where season four takes us… We start the season off with Buffy and Willow sitting in a graveyard and selecting classes for their first semester at UC SunnyDale (wait, they are attending the University of California? And it has a SunnyDale campus? Okay). Behind them, … Continue reading The Last Of Buff: A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E1-2

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! Two-part season finale time, everyone! Buckle in because I hear this show gets SUBSTANTIALLY worse next season! We lead off with the newly re-friended Xander and Cordelia (actually, given their history, this is the very first time they’ve ever been actually, purely friends), with Xander lamenting he is likely about to die. Buffy and Willow join up with him to … Continue reading One Heck Of A Finale! A BTVS Retrospective, S3 E21-22

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! EPISODE 19 We open with Faith and The Mayor, and the latter has given his new protege a gift: a very fancy dagger! He wants her to do him a favor and go to the airport to pick something up for him. She initially balks at such a menial chore, but he lambastes her for her insolence and calls … Continue reading More Bad “The Ascension” Jokes: A BTVS Retrospective, S3 E19-20

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! Buffy is out hunting! One of my two favorite ways this show opens! She is battling two fleshy monsters who don’t have mouths. Hey, is this that silent episode I hear so much about?! Neat! She kills one, but the other gets away. The dead one bleeds white-out for some reason? It absorbs into Buffy’s skin and vanishes, which … Continue reading I Write A Haiku: A BTVS Retrospective, Season 3 Episode 18

It feels weird starting off with even number episodes. Stupid Xander! This is all your fault, too. We start off with that Anyanka demon lady talking to her… boss, I guess? He is reprimanding her for losing her powers, and she asks for them back. He says no, which is just sensible. You can’t have your demon minions just losing their jewelry willy-nilly. She decides … Continue reading A PlayStation Commercial… Errrr, A Buffy The Vampire Slayer Retrospective, S3 E16-17

EPISODE 14 We start off hunting again! It’s Buffy and Faith out killing nondescript monsters and girl-talking. Faith is using Network TV Language to express shock that Buffy and Xander have never boned. Look, Faith, just because you have cripplingly bad taste in sexual partners, doesn’t mean… everyone in this… town… Okay, fair enough. You got me there, Faith. I, too, am shocked the writers … Continue reading Bad Girls Bad Girls, Whatchya Gonna Do? A BTVS Retrospective: S3 E14-15

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! We open up with Buffy Hunting! Ah, back to the comforts of home. Faith, Buffy, Giles, and Willow combine to kill three blue demons. Giles is worried and desperately wants to know what these monsters are. Oh, it turns out Xander is there, too. He was batted away by the beasts and left lying under some rubble. The scene … Continue reading Seriously? A Xander Episode?: A BTVS Retrospective, S3 E13

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! In two and a half seasons, I have learned something. This show has two different beginnings: “Buffy Is Hunting”, or “At School”. This one is “Buffy Is Hunting”! So Buffy is out hunting, and mom shows up out of nowhere with a snack. How did she know where Buffy was? I’ve never seen Buffy tell her “I’m going out … Continue reading Parents Just Don’t Understand: A BTVS Retrospective, S3 E11-12

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! Season 3 episode 9 starts off with some Davey-Jones-From-Pirates-Of-The-Caribbean-ass monster choking Buffy out and just… letting Willow and Xander run around to assist her until she can kill it. The three of them talk for a second about Cordelia and Oz, but then pivot to Faith. They agree they need to invite her out more often, for her sake. … Continue reading “I WANT YOU SO BADLY!”: A BTVS Retrospective, S3 E9-10

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! We don’t really OPEN with Buffy, Faith, and Giles out hunting–there is an opening sequence of no import with the gang at The Bronze–but it is the first relevant thing that happens. Giles just chills out while his two slayers go to town, and… why do the vampires always leave him alone when he is out with them? Isn’t he … Continue reading NFL Films Presents: A BTVS Retrospective, S3 E7-8

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! It’s off to SunnyDale High School where we start this episode with our main characters sitting around talking about Homecoming. So you know what that means! It’s still way too early in the year for sunset to be 5:30, god damn it! (Unless Homecoming is in January or something) Scott has not asked Buffy to Homecoming yet, setting up … Continue reading Wait, Xander AND Willow Are The Worst? A BTVS Retrospective, S3, E5-6

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! Moving along through season three of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, we start off episode three with Willow, Oz, Cordelia, and Xander all heading out of school and discussing how, as seniors, they finally get to have lunch off-campus. Where is off campus? In the yard of the school. So there you go, I guess. Anyway, Buffy has set up … Continue reading MONSTER FIGHTS! A BTVS Retrospective, S3, E3-4

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! Season three starts off with the gang attempting to pick up an M.I.A. Buffy’s slack by hunting vampires, but… they are not particularly good at it. They are good enough to not die! But not to actually defeat any bloodsuckers. Their dialogue alerts us to the fact that school starts back up tomorrow. Buffy’s been gone all summer! Didn’t … Continue reading It’s Pet Sematary Now: A BTVS Retrospective, S3 E1-2