Time for more TMNT commentary! With some of the goofiest, most forgotten characters in the line!
The home team advantage goes to Halfcourt, the jumpshot jammin’ giraffe. With his beehive basketball pumped and primed, Halfcourt’s ready for some rough one-on-one action with any Foot fool who dares to come out ‘n play. Halfcourt’ll pump ’em up with his tire pump pistol and dribble ’em straight to a slam dunk – that’s two points for the Green Team! It’s always a game of sudden death when the Shredhead tries to take on Halfcourt. But with the help of his extendo neck, Halfcourt’s got the height and the skill to score. And with his attachable backboard shield, Halfcourt is always ready for a game or a good fight. He’s one Turtle Team player who knows the score – Turtles win, Foot Clan loses! So all you street warriors out there, watch out for the baddest blacktop bouncer to ever bash in a backboard. He’s Halfcourt and when he shoots – he scores!
-One of the silliest Toy-Only Characters was Halfcourt, the goofy GIRAFFE MAN, who, naturally, was a basketball player. Now, Giraffes = Tall = Ideal for basketball, right? But… it’s not like all that neck height is particularly useful at the hoop. At least he’s got sorta-long arms. Halfcourt actually came with a gun made out of a TIRE PUMP, and was one of the few guys to come with a spherical object (a basketball, naturally), instead of the usual “flat stuff off of a sprue”. Like a lot of the weirder figs, he came with a monochromatic sidekick, a Flamingo referee (??).
The Shredder went on safari to steal subjects from the jungle for an evil experiment. Shredhed was impressed with Doctor El’s witch doctorin’ ways – so he went the way of the Ooze. But what Shredder didn’t know was that elephants are big, friendly fellas. Now this beast of burden is a fond follower of the Ninja Turtles.
-Doctor El’s one of the last “Toy-Only” characters, and I actually find him one of the better one-off figures they did- proof that the line didn’t just totally crap out at the end. Doctor El has the curious origin of being a real-live Witch Doctor who was actually TURNED GOOD by exposure to Mutagen- all because elephants are actually super-nice creatures genetically! He’s a guy with a very tiny bio, and no real impact on the overall universe.
The Foot Clan can run, but they can’t hide, cuz Monty Moose is on the trail of justice – and he’s trackin’ down all the Foot fools who run west, east, south and north. As a baby moose, Monty was separated from his herd and fell into Ooze Lake, a secret stash of Shredder’s Ooze. Monty’s out to make sure no one (and no moose) ever gets Oozed again. Packed with his packin’ pistol, skinnin’ sabre and handy handcuffs, Monty’s ready to charge right into the Foot Clan. And with the aid of Bob, his trusty beaver sidekick, Monty’s fresh on the trail of crime. This mutant moose meanders through the thick of the woods, stalking and tracking anti-Turtle terrorists. And with beaver Bob alongside, Monty is one moose who always gets his mutant.
-Halfway through the line (and after its peak), came the sole Canadian TMNT hero, Monty Moose. I was gonna say we were lucky they didn’t make him a beaver… but then I saw Bob, his Beaver Sidekick. Unpopular and thus rare, he costs upwards of $30-40 today, but is a FAR cry from the most-expensive solo figure.
This magic Mutant can go for days without water, but would only last a few minutes without a good fight. He’s Sandstorm and he’s ready for action. Loaded down with his wonderful weapons, like the swami slicin’ sword and magic lamp pistol, this crazy carvin’ camel is a cut above the rest. He’s a sewer sultan and desert dude who’s quick at the hip with lightnin’ fast twists and turns. No Foot fightin’ fools stand a chance.
-Another half-assed “Let’s just add an animal to a stereotype and call it a day” design, Sandstorm came late in the game, and is a generic “Middle Eastern Desert-Dweller” type of guy. I went with PL 7 because hey- he didn’t even show up in the show or any video games. You don’t get ANY kind of a push, I don’t give you good stats, alright?