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Disclaimer: I have never been to a winery, never spoken to a sommelier, and don’t even know the difference between a merlot, and a Pinot noir. That being said…

GROCERY OUTLET WINE REVIEW: Echelon Pinot noir 2010
Suggested price – $15
Grocery outlet price – $10
Alcohol content – 13.5%
Tastes – Dried timothy hay, old prunes, turpentine, red wine
Pairs well with – Kraft macaroni and cheese with hot dogs, wheat thins, ice water 

I drank this with chicken breast and steamed broccoli dinner. The burning was distracting with every gulp. I say gulp because it’s hard to sip what you know is going to give you a burst of intense heartburn after each drink. Your best bet with this wine is to gulp full mouthfuls, and sip some cold water or grape soda to tame the scorching in your gullet. 

Now that you’re 2 full glasses in, and you’ve begun to feel a decent buzz, the flavors of deep red fruits and stuff start coming through. Think a bowl of fallen cherries, plums and prunes picked from the lawn, smashed in a bowl and left outside for a few weeks, then strained through a coffee filter soaked with kerosene. All in all, not the worst. Would buy again on accident. 

6.5/10

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GROCERY OUTLET WINE REVIEW #2: Toolbox Kitchen Essentials “red wine” 2012
Suggested price – $15
Grocery outlet price – $4
Alcohol content – 13.2%
Tastes – Raisins, white powder, warm air, something you would mix into a martini
Pairs well with – chocolate covered cherries, chicken, fish, cooking, just about anything. 

I had a few glasses of Toolbox with a leftover chicken Parmesan and fettuccine dinner. My first impression was underwhelming. The lack of a single dominant taste was very noticeable, as was the lack of a bite or burn following each sip. The wine is so easy to drink and middle-of-the-road, that it seems to be made to be added into recipes, and cooked with. After taking a better look at the front and back labels, my suspicions were confirmed. “Kitchen essentials” “A fantastic bottle of wine is the key to every meal” etc.. I feel I’ve been duped.

The silver lining is this: If you wanna get ripped, this will do it for ya, and for $4. Plus, you won’t look like a bum, cuz it’s red wine (classy, I guess.) Drink it with your lunch or dinner…or breakfast. Pour it in a thick sauce to thin it out, add some color, and of course to class that sauce up! Use it as a sangria base, it doesn’t matter how bland the taste is after you add fruits juices. 

All in all, I can’t really complain, it’s easy to drink, and easy to binge on. $4 never looked to good/drunk. 

7/10