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Disclaimer: I have never been to a winery, never spoken to a sommelier, and don’t even know the difference between a merlot, and a Pinot noir. That being said…

GROCERY OUTLET WINE REVIEW #12: Gabrielle Ashley – Cabernet Sauvignon 2020

Suggested price – $29.99

Grocery outlet price – $14.99

Alcohol content – 14.5%

Tastes – A pile of turpentine rags, expired dollar store scented markers, fruit punch

Pairs with – handfuls of Virginia peanuts, spying on your neighbor who you SWEAR you saw kill his wife through the window, chicken casserole

With my first sip, I looked at Briauna and said, “this is pretty good. We may have a winner.” This is the most expensive wine I’ve purchased from Grocery Outlet, and it more-or-less tastes like it. It tastes like a wine you’d order at a restaurant, and not send back. It’s just the tiniest bit juicy, not offensively boozy with no real burning feel. The flavor profile comes from what us professionals call the “Hawaiian Punch” family, and is delightful.

I drank this wine by sips, then gulps, enjoying it with my dinner of burrito bowls and Tostito’s cantina style tortilla chips. It hit the spot and gave me a solid hum after 1 oversized glass, and I could see any self proclaimed Wine Mom(TM) out there enjoying a bottle whilst skipping dinner because she’s on doing Intermittent Fasting.

All in all, his wine lives up to the price tag. You could pass this off as an $85 bottle you got from your cousin who works in the industry. It would be great with a hearty dinner, or good as a meal replacement… It’s like Soylent, but with a much better buzz.

8/10

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GROCERY OUTLET WINE REVIEW #10: Chateau de Panigon – Medoc 2016 blend of Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Pettit Verdot

Suggested price – $24.99

Grocery outlet price – $14.99

Alcohol content – 13.5%

Tastes – dark cherries, stale sweet tarts, the house red from Cattleman’s

Pairs with – pulled pork (light on the sauce), clam chowder, Schitt’s Creek

When you spend almost fifteen dollars for a wine at Grocery Outlet, it feels almost dirty, or wasteful. I get the same feeling when spending more than $10 at Taco Bell alone. The store manager came out to personally thank me for my purchase, when the cashier rang it up. Normally the wines I drink from the G-O have a screw top, or at best a synthetic cork. Chateau de Panigon had a real honest-to-God cork, so my expectations were already set very high.

From the first sip, I got the impression that someone had made a mistake, as this tastes like a Safeway wine… maybe even a Raley’s wine. There’s not a lot to complain about with this wine, which saddens me. It’s light and unassuming. It’s sweet enough to make you miss the sip you just finished, but not so sweet that you get rush week flashbacks.

I drank the bottle on a Tuesday evening after working a 12 hour shift, it feels like I got all $15 worth out of that bottle. The label makes it seem like a real deal adult wine, perfect to bring as a gift to a dinner party, or to drink alone at home, while watching Jeopardy and feeling superior to those idiots who watch Wheel of Fortune.

This may be the best wine I’ve ever consumed from Grocery Outlet. My only complaint is that I don’t have much to make fun of with this one.

9/10