Head Games part 4

Ryan held Labrat’s hand as he lay in the hospital bed. With Labrat’s unique genetic makeup, his bones and tissue were humanoid enough to require normal doctors. The wounds were consistent with blunt trauma – severe bruising, one broken ulna, one laceration across the face, and one cracked rib. Ryan told the doctors an enemy had attacked but opted not to tell them any more details. He felt strange looks from the hospital staff but wasn’t sure if it was his own paranoia or not. It didn’t help that he once again wondered if Miles Cady was even attacking him or if he had gone insane.

“It wasn’t me in control,” he told Labrat in an attempt to reassure them both, “You know that, right?”

“I know, Ryan,” Labrat said quietly, “You keep saying that.”

“I guess I gotta keep reminding myself.”

“Mr. Cady made you do it with his mind powers. He wants you to feel bad,”

“Yeah, you’re right and unfortunately, it’s working. But don’t worry. I’m gonna go see him very soon. I have a plan.”

“Just like always,” Labrat said with a pained smile.

Eight hours later, Shawn McCabe let Ryan inside the Ice Box prison and walked him down the hall. “Like I said before,” McCabe began, “We keep Miles Cady medicated. I doubt he can hold much of a conversation, let alone use his powers.” Ryan ignored him. He also tried to ignore the image of Rex Robinson walking alongside him. Rex had his trademark smile but Ryan noticed the mouth was slightly too wide. It wasn’t apparent at first but it was just disproportioned enough to make it unsettling. It was obvious Cady had begun his torment for the day and he was right on schedule.

“You still care for this man on some level,” he heard Cady’s voice coming through Rex, “Despite what he did. Looking up to someone like this is such a you-thing to do. You’ve never made good decisions in your life. Even when you try to take care of others, it always ends with them being better off never having met you. That’s what happened to the Upstarts, that’s what happened to your former lovers… and now, it’s happened to Labrat.”

“You did that,” Ryan communicated in his mind.

“It was an illustration.”

“It was sadism. You made sure to keep Labrat alive, knowing what it’d do to me to see him in the hospital.”

“It’s unfortunate you still don’t get my lessons after all these years.”

Ryan was led into the parloir by McCabe along with a security officer. He sat down and peered through the plexiglass at the door on the other side. Cady walked with a cane due to the knee injury given to him previously and he had a slacked-jaw appearance indicating heavy medication. He sat down while two floating drones hovered behind him and a guard in a mech suit waited at the door. On the desks in front of both men, there was a communication system that let them talk to one another.

“I’m here, Cady,” Ryan began, “Got anything to say?”

“Bennings?,” Cady’s head rolled around sleepily, “What do you want?”

“I want you out of my head for starters,” Ryan continued to ignore the Rex Robinson hallucination pointing and laughing at him, “Second, why don’t you admit to the warden what you did to Labrat? I’m sure a full confession will only add a couple more years to your sentence. It’s better than me exposing you for the psychotic shitbag you are.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Cady furrowed his brow, “I haven’t done anything.”

Ryan continued, “It’d also be nice to know how you’ve extended your powers across the globe. I’ll find out eventually but I’ll go easy on you if you just own it now.”

“We’re in Asia…,” Cady shook his head, “I can’t… do anything that far. Don’t even want to.”

“Then why is Rex Robinson standing over there, laughing?”

McCabe curiously looked around the room to discern what he was talking about. The guards did likewise. “Rex Robinson?,” Cady asked innocently.

Next, Ryan saw the Upstarts laying in pools of their own blood. He tried to look away and close his eyes but he could still see them. What’s more, he could hear them. They were screaming. Ryan grit his teeth in emotional anguish, “Distract me all you like. It won’t work.”

“I’m still not sure what you mean.”

“Labrat is in the hospital, you dick! This is your last chance!,” Ryan grew louder and angrier as the Upstarts’ screams and Rex’s laugh increased.

“I think you got your answers, Bennings,” McCabe told him.

“Do a drug test!,” Ryan said while clenching his eyes shut.

“A drug test for you?,” McCabe gave him a curious look.

Rex laughed louder. The screams got worse. Ryan could hardly hear anything and knew he was likely speaking too loudly as he tried to talk over the noise that was only in his head, “Cady isn’t taking his meds! It’s an act!”

“What’s an act?,” Cady asked quietly.

“Goddammit, you know!”

“We’re done here,” McCabe said authoritatively.

Ryan clenched the communication device on the desk in front of him, “You people have no idea what he’s doing! Just listen to -”. He stopped speaking once a stream of blood shot out of his nostril, followed by a pounding migraine. “Jesus, get a medic,” McCabe pulled Ryan away as the security officer began to make a call. Cady looked around in confusion as the second guard escorted him out.

Ryan was nauseous and quickly pushed past McCabe and the guard offering assistance. They tried to speak to him but the pain was immense and he couldn’t concentrate enough to listen; he simply continued on his way to Hyperion’s Light. Since there were multiple checkpoints, Ryan became more and more impatient as he made his way to his ship; the pain worsened and the sound increased, but soon, he was inside. The auto-pilot carried him away from the prison, then came to a rest atop a mountain. Inside, Ryan rushed to his lab and slouched against some cabinets. As his consciousness slipped, he could hear Cady speaking to him, “That didn’t go as planned, I’m sure.” Even in his debilitating state of mind, Ryan began to present a specific memory at the forefront.

He and Mackenzie Fellows exited a club in LA as paparazzis snapped pictures. “I bet they’d really go crazy if I flashed the cameras,” Mackenzie’s voice was purposefully loud and, as expected, the paparazzis crowded around. “Yeah, go ahead,” Ryan consented, “Flash away!” Mackenzie then pulled down Ryan’s pants and flashed his genitals at disgusted cameramen.

“That’s a fond memory, I’m sure,” Cady said, “But, as always, it’s not what I’m after. The last time we explored your relationship with Mackenzie, you blocked a particular memory. You have less fortitude in your current state so let’s see what you have hidden.”

Mackenzie sat in her room at a rehab clinic with Ryan, the two of them sharing a cigarette.

“How is it?,” Ryan asked, indicating the facility, “… In here?”

“I’m doing better,” she spoke with a certain sadness behind her smile.

“I’m sorry,” Ryan began.

“For what?”

“This,” he once again pointed to his surroundings.

“It’s my fault for letting it go that far.”

“No, no. I was an enabler. I just liked the parties and I brought you along…”

“I was using before we got together and I would’ve ended up here either way,” she took a drag from their cigarette, “Being a child celebrity is a shitty life. Our parents did everything they could to keep us young and once puberty hit, it all went to hell. It’s no wonder so many of us end up the way we do. I’m not cute enough to get acting roles anymore. My manager told me to start looking for something with nudity so people’ll stop seeing me as Princess Lily, get all Elizabeth Berkley. Can you believe that shit?“

“Just get into directing like you keep saying,” Ryan told her, “Get behind the camera for a change. Just forget about acting.”

“Yeah,” she laughed a bit, “All the best directors are crazy anyway, so I’ll fit right in.”

Ryan took the cigarette and inhaled, “I’m no director but mental instability has always done wonders for me.”

“But Ryan,” she reached out and held his hand, “You realize it could’ve just as easily been you here.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“You’re self destructive, Ryan….”

“I have my moments.”

“… and so am I.”

“No,” he shook his head, “You’re batshit and you’re beautiful. You’re everything I could want, but not self-destructive.”

“That’s the thing. We’re both batshit and when two people like us get together for too long, one or both of us end up dead. It’s just the way it is. We love each other, and I do love you Ryan, but I also know we’re ultimately terrible for each other. I enabled you just as much as you enabled me.”

“It’s an easy fix,” Ryan told her, “We don’t party anymore. It was getting boring anyway.”

“Sooner or later we’ll find a way to fail,” she told him sadly, “I’m sorry, Ryan, but we’re way too much of a mess to make it work.”

“I’m sorry, but I think you’re letting this OD situation get to you. I admit, it was scary, but as a guy who regularly comes face-to-face with scary stuff, fear can sometimes be an indication that -”

“Ryan, I was pregnant.”

The statement was sudden, as if spoken by accident. Ryan stared at Mackenzie and Mackenzie avoided eye contact. The revelation was obviously a shock to the system but what was more disturbing was the usage of the past tense.

“When?,” was all that Ryan could muster.

“About three weeks ago. I didn’t know anymore than you did… I found out…,” she sniffed back a few tears, “… I found out when I went to the hospital in Italy.”

Ryan collapsed onto the table. He tried to speak but it was an impossible task.

“… I lost it the night I OD’d,” she choked, “I honestly considered not telling you, but…”

“It was my fault,” he removed his glasses and pinched tears out of his eyes.

“I told you it wasn’t,” she came around the table and cradled him.

“I should’ve paid attention or…”

“Or what? There was literally nothing you could’ve done. I make my own decisions, you know that. It’s kinda why I wondered if I should tell you. I know how much shit you put on yourself.”

“We can get through this,” he told her finally, “It’s not something our relationship can’t survive.”

“There’s more,” she sat back on her knees, “When I found out I had the miscarriage, I couldn’t help but think… If I knew… would I have kept it? And… it wasn’t about whether or not I’d want one… That wasn’t the question… It was more that… I knew you and me wouldn’t work as parents. And at first, I was okay with it because we were never about that. But then I had to wonder… if we weren’t capable of creating a life, would we even be capable of sharing a life?”

He wiped his eyes and replaced his glasses, “So that’s what this is about?”

“We’re destructive enough on our own. We’re so much more destructive together.”

“For the record…,” he gathered himself and looked into her eyes again, “I would’ve been… I mean, if you wanted me to…”

“I know, baby. I know.”

They held each other quietly.

Ryan was still wracked by pain and sat on the floor of his lab, rolling up his sleeve. “Is that the shred of vulnerability you kept from me?,” Cady exclaimed, “Certainly, Mackenzie understood as well as I do that the child was better off not having you as a father.” With what was left of his strength, Ryan reached to the top of the cabinet and began fumbling around until his fingers found what he was looking for. “What is it you’ve got there, Ryan?,”Cady asked. Ryan’s eyes were red, his expression blank. He pulled the object in close. His thumb popped the cap off the syringe and he quietly prepared it. “I can feel your desperation but all your thoughts center around that needle,” Cady said, “Is this it? Is this the last act of heroism from Ryan Bennings?”

“You win, Prof.”

With that, Ryan shoved the syringe into his arm and pressed the plunger. Something was flushed into his veins and a moment later, his body slumped over. In his cell, Cady was surprised to no longer sense Ryan’s mind. Meanwhile, in the ship’s lab, Ryan Bennings lay motionless on the floor.

Continued…