FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! EPISODE 5 WE start off the episode two months ago in a monastery with some monks running from something. They must protect the key, they cry! As they start their little monk chanting circle, something breaks through their barricaded door. Now: Buffy is fighting a big biker vampire outside of a factory. She pretty easily kills him because he … Continue reading Lois Lane, Reporting Live From SunnyDale: A BTVS Retrospective, S5 E5-6

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! EPISODE 3 Episode three of what I’m already predicting is going to be a fucking nightmare of a season starts off with Buffy, Xander, Riley, and an arm-sling wearing Anya all watching a martial arts movie… though Buffy has her nose in a book, studying her Slayer lore, apparently. Riley eventually gets her to start watching the film, whereupon … Continue reading Tothache: A BTVS Retrospective, S5 E3-4

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! EPISODE 1 We kick things off with Buffy in bed. Then we cut to her fighting a vampire. Then we cut to her going back to bed with Riley. So there is that! We’re off and running in season five with a pointlessly confusing introduction. We see two guys moving a crate into a building, but one of them … Continue reading Dawn Of A New Day: A BTVS Retrospective, S5 E1-2

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! EPISODE 21 For some reason, this episode starts off with Buffy searching the wreckage of SunnyDale High for Riley, but that’s just a momentary scene. But seriously… why would he be there? “Oh, my best friend died; better go to this bombed out high school that means nothing to me”. Think harder, Buffy. Anyway, we then cut to Adam … Continue reading FU-SION-HA! A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E21-22

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! Episode 19 Willow and Tara start us off as they talk together about various goings-on, including their sudden desire to get a cat together. Which I am all for, unless it dies. This show could use a cat to spiffy it up. Again, unless it dies. Then I will be ever so unbelievably cross. They make it to the Scooby … Continue reading The College Season Not About College: A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E19-20

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! EPISODE 18 As we head ceaselessly and unpleasantly towards season’s end, we open this episode in the classical format, but with a twist: Buffy is out killing monsters… and Riley is with her! Aw! The couple that kills together Netflix & Chills together. Which is fitting because they immediately go off to bone after stopping the dual threat of one … Continue reading The Ice Cream Of The Future: A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E18

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! EPISODE 16 I’ve been hanging from this cliff all week, so it’e time to see what happens on the next episode of BTVS! We start off with the cops outside Buffy’s house. Buffy-In-Faith (here-on-out just Buffy because I ain’t typing that all review) is getting gurneyed out of the house. Faith-in-Buffy (here-on-out just Faith) is with Mom.  Mom thinks Faith … Continue reading Have A Little Faith: A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E16-17

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! EPISODE 14 We have another rare instance of the show picking up right where the previous episode left off (somewhat), as Buffy is telling the Scoobies all about what she went through with Professor Walsh. Spike thinks Riley is in on the whole thing and can’t be trusted. Speak of the soldier, Riley shows up at Giles’ place in the … Continue reading It’s Adam Shame: A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E14-15

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! EPISODE 12 We open up in Buffy’s dorm, with her and Riley making out in bed, and I swear to god the music overlay is some kind of instrumental cover of “Circle Of Life” from The Lion King, and I HATE IT. Go watch this scene, it’s just for a second or two, but it’s there. Willow bounds in … Continue reading Everything Is Penises: A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E12-13

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! Okay, after Episode 10 skipped the queue, we are taking the time machine back to Episode 9. Come back with me as we open up with Willow looking at pictures of Oz and being mopey. It’s so refreshing to see ANOTHER character moping besides Buffy. Wait, no. That’s not it. What’s the opposite of “refreshing”? Elsewhere on campus, Buffy and … Continue reading Munching Away At Rug Field, a BTVS Retrospective: S4, E9 and 11

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! Oh my god with the Psychology class stuff. I know I joke, but can’t this season give us a single other class of hers? Well apparently not, as we start off in Psych Class, with Buffy and her renewed straight hair* being called to the front of the class by Professor Walsh. Walsh asks Buffy to lie down on … Continue reading Nine, Ten, Never Speak Again: A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E10

FOR PREVIOUS BUFFY REVIEWS, CLICK HERE! We kick off episode seven in the UC Sunnydale cafeteria with Riley and his friends, one of whom looks slightly like–and sounds EXACTLY like–Shelton Benjamin. So that’s his name from me. They have a vanilla white guy friend, too. They spy Buffy from afar having comic misadventures trying to get frozen yogurt and a drink. Shelton thinks she is … Continue reading Ask Your Doctor If Viagra Is Right For You: A BTVS Retrospective, S4 E7-8