Moon Knight – A Parody Script

Promo – Get ready for an exciting, action-packed episode of Moon Knight. Viewer discretion advised as this is a violent and brutal show with darkness and horror and scary things.

Cute Hippo Goddess: Tee-hee. I’m so excited you’re here! OMG!

Steven: Oi, Marc! It’s a bloom’n talk’n hippo, innit?

Marc: Sure is, buddy. She’s adorable.

Steven: But we’ve bloody better get out of here. Harrow’s been walking through the desert for the past four episodes and might find Ammet’s Tomb. Blimey!

Marc: Good point but before we go, I gotta tell you something. I used to be a globe-trotting mercenary. One day, I was double-crossed. It got Layla’s dad killed and I would’ve died but the Egyptian god of the Moon turned me into a superhero and I’ve been fighting crime ever since.

Stephen: Blimey! Well, the important thing is you told me instead of show’n me.

Marc: Right. We should always tell and never show. That’s what they always say in film school.

Cute Hippo Goddess: I’ll send you back to Layla. She’s so cool. And so are you guys. I love you so much. Anyway, sending you back now.

Stephen: Bloody hope so. We’ve only got two episodes left and nothing’s happened so far.

CUT TO: The desert.

Layla: Marc, you’re back.

Marc: Anything exciting happen off camera?

Layla: The evil cult leader that’s always lying and manipulating people told me you killed me dad. I believed him, of course.

Marc: I didn’t do it.

Layla: Okay, that resolves that subplot. *Whew* Almost thought something exciting was going to happen.

Stephen: Tea and crumpets! Bad guys are coming after us, gov’nuh! Let me have control of the body.

Marc: Not this again.

Stephen: Bloody do it!

Marc: Fine… here…

Stephen: Ah! Bad guys attack’n. Switch me back! Bloody hell!

Marc: Why do you keep doing that?

Layla: Marc, you’re a highly trained mercenary with super powers. You can fight them.

Marc: Yeah, but… I mean,… last episode we ran for about thirty seconds and that was enough action for the entire series. Let’s just cut to the next scene.

CUT TO: A tomb or something.

Layla: Wow, that was a crazy fight! I mean, things really got bloody and brutal.

Marc: Yeah, it was our mysterious third personality. Apparently, he exists to make sure we keep a tight budget.

Khonshu: But the CGI does look amazing, tho.

Stephen: The important thing is, we never saw anything of interest! I’m so British!

Everyone laughs.

FREEZE FRAME

EPISODE CREDITS

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