Oh no.

Well; this brings back awful memories.

Apple Jacks isn’t Pop-Tarts’ first foray into making cereal flavored Tarts. They previously tried this with Fruit Loops, and as you can see from the link I posted, those were ABOMINABLE. Just absolutely sickly sweet garbage people food. Right down there with Watermelon on the list of “I can’t even finish these” Tarts. It was a big shock; I never expected those to be THAT bad.

How many cereals does Kellogg’s make? They could keep this up for a while, right? Frosted Flakes Pop-Tarts! CINNAMON Frosted Flakes! Raisin Bran (Ew)! Hell, all the different Special K’s (and you know what? I’m HERE for most of those)!

I actually got to thinking… if I had to choose between the two: Fruit Loops or Apple Jacks? As a cereal, not a Tart.

The problem is that they are both mid-tier cereals. They are better than shit like fuckin’ Kix or something. But I’m never going to choose either of them if anything like Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Reese’s Puffs or most Special K’s are available.

I think, ultimately, I’d choose Fruit Loops. Which bodes REALLY POORLY for these Pop-Tarts.

But you know what?

I TORE THROUGH the first pack of these I ate.

They were great! Really just lightyears beyond their Loopsy predecessors! Like a vastly superior version of the basic Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts flavor, which I’ve never been super high on in general. Give me these all day compared to those.

So maybe the next time I decide I want Fruit Loops (never), I will get Apple Jacks instead. Just trade in one ring-shaped cereal for another, you know?

But yeah, the devastating, nuclear level sugar-forward sweetness of the Fruit Loops Tarts is all gone here; these just taste like a genuinely delightful Pop-Tart. The kind you should be able to find on the shelf 365 days a year. Keep these in stores, Kellogg’s!

And make sure not to do Raisin Bran Pop-Tarts. No one wants that.

TASTE: A

-Truly delightful, though it is possible that there was a case of lowered expectations at play here. But regardless, I’m not kidding: I destroyed the first two of these I ate. Imagine basic Cinnamon flavor, but a bit sweeter and more playful.

COLORS: B-

Not sure about the whole AppleJacks green-and-orange color scheme, but they stuck to it for the sprinkles here. Branding!

APPLE JACK?: I

I don’t know what or who an “Apple Jack” is. Isn’t Jack a nickname for John? So is it like Johnny Appleseed? It’s all very nebulous to me.

OVERALL: A-

I could do without breakfast-flavored breakfast, as I have touched on before, but I guess at this point, whatever is getting me more Pop-Tarts flavors is a good thing! And especially if they are going to taste like these babies.