Welcome to April! Showers and flowers and all that.

Rain aside, it has been getting nicer out, and I’ve even had more chances to go for walks, which I direly need. We are going to Cancun this summer, and I am CREEPING UP on 200 lbs for the first time in my life. I was depressed when I was 180!

I’m working on cutting sugar from my diet, but it’s REAL touch and go. Also, I already don’t drink alcohol OR caffeine, and I am a somewhat picky eater. The more shit I cut from my life to get “healthy”, the more insufferable I imagine I am to deal with as a houseguest/friend/spouse.

Additionally, eliminating sugar does not mean I’m actually eating healthy. It just means I’m eating more, like, potato chips and meat sticks instead of candy. Come on, Stewart! Get it together!

I try to buy a lot of fruit to snack on, but fruit gives me anxiety, man. It goes bad so quickly! So I buy enough fruit to last a week or so, and then I eat it all in a day or two because I don’t want to waste it if it goes bad.

These are the struggles I face.

It’s supposed to be a rainy 55 degrees today, too. So that helps nothing! I’ll just nap after work instead of walk.

Anyway, this is just my Fat Kid’s Lament. Let’s get into my entertainment recommendations!

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MOVIES

I’ve already written up an entire review on Godzilla vs Kong, so there’s no great reason to recap that here. It was fun! Go watch it.

What’s NOT pictured here is that on 4/10, I visited friends and we watched Fridays The 13th parts 2 and 3. It turns out I have friends who have never seen any movie in that franchise! How absurd is THAT? To ME, that’s like saying you’ve never drank milk.

So I took it upon myself to educate them on the Multiple Jasons Theory. I will get more into that one day here, I promise. There’s a Friday the 13th in a few months, so that will be a good time for it.

Anyway, I didn’t log them because I just did so for each of them within the past year. I know Letterboxd doesn’t necessarily care about that, but for my purposes, it felt like cheating.

Malibu Express was a wild little flick. Talk about the height of 80’s “cool” and wish fulfillment. The story is off a somewhat eccentric private investigator who lives on a boat and has literally every woman he meets ripping their clothes off and trying to bang him. It is so mundane to him; he thinks it is all so tedious. There’s a murder and a subplot about some Russian spies… it’d would actually be a lot of fun if it toned WAY down on the misogyny and sexism.

Avengers Endgame was also a rewatch. For, like, the tenth time. The only real question is how many times I will rewatch that in my life before I die. Sometimes I put it on just because I have a hankering for certain scenes. Such a good movie.

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GAMING

The same friends with whom I watched the Jason movies were the ones that would also introduce me to Secret Hitler. It’s all very Among Us / Mafia in that everyone has a hidden identity and some players are working to sabotage the game.

Don’t get me wrong; the game is a lot of fun with all the wild accusations. But the title is so weirdly playful; like “I’m Hitler, tee-hee, it’s fun!”. I’m surprised it hasn’t caused more of a stink in general.

I did enjoy it, though, so I am a hypocrite.

I did not get to be Hitler in any of our plays, either! I was just a “good guy” every game. I was accused of being a fascist once by my friend because he was really sus about how I opened my eyes to start the game. That’s what makes the game fun… grabbing at straws like that.

I also started a new playthrough on Pokemon Shield, but more on that in another article…

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TELEVISION

I finished the first season of Resident Alien. I will say the front half of the season was probably a bit better than the back half just because being introduced to “Harry” was so fun, and once we got into his story, it was… a little less so. But that is where the supporting cast started to really shine; especially the sheriff and deputy. I almost want them to have their own show. All in all, I’ll be there day one for the next season.

Still enjoying Invincible, too, but… is the animation on that show getting WORSE with each episode? I kind of hated the look of Battle Beast in the last one. The animation has been the biggest weakness from day 1.

The only other show I have been bothering to keep up on (I’m still an episode back on Falcon & Winter Soldier and a few episodes off pace for Superman & Lois because this past weekend was so packed) is… heh… Hell’s Kitchen. Man, you really get invested in these reality competitions when you start watching them. The wife and I continue to nitpick everyone and predict who “deserves” to go home next over food we have never tasted.

And in case you think your phone ISN’T constantly spying on you, my Instagram recommended I follow one competitor on that show out of absolute nowhere. Thanks for that, at least, Big Brother.

Aside from that, as you can likely tell from my previous article for the past few days, I’ve been mostly watching wrestling!

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That’s it for the open of April! Hopefully the end of the month has more flowers and less showers.

Also hopefully I can buy more fruit to eat without getting all crazy over it.

Until next time… take care!