Welcome back to our Bret Hart ratings! This week it is just me for a go-around of some of the modern talent in the wrestling world in the post-WrestleMania landscape of spring 2021. Also, uh, only one of the superstars rated today was on WrestleMania. Oops! I’m not good at synergy.

Let’s get right into it!

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BRIAN CAGE

STEW’S THOUGHTS

LOOK: 9.5/10 – Cage is about damn close to 10/10 because he is impossibly, inhumanly jacked. He looks like there was a guy who injected an entire factory of steroids… and then Cage found him and directly injected himself with THAT guy. If any company in the world saw this guy and was like “I want to base my company around him”, I’d completely understand.

CHARISMA: 4/10 – Cage isn’t particularly bad at promos or getting reactions, but it’s not his strength. I mean… STRENGTH is his strength. Again… LOOK AT HIM. He’s adequate enough, but there’s a reason AEW stuck him with Tazz.

RINGWORK: 5.5/10 – Cage was more impressive to me in Lucha Underground than he has been in AEW, where I haven’t really seen much out of him besides what you’d expect from a guy his size. I don’t know if LU masked his shortcomings better, or maybe he just enjoyed it better there, but he seemed to show more athleticism that matched his imposing look.

THOUGHTS: 19/30 – Not a bad score for an upper midcard guy who can be slotted into the main event. I always feel like AEW is underusing him, but he’s probably fine where he is. They just seem to think of him as a dude champions can beat to look stronger. I’d like to see Cage actually win a title, though.

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SHAYNA BASZLER

STEW’S THOUGHTS

LOOK: 6.5/10 – If nothing else, Shayne sure as hell stands out. The toned arms, the dark eye makeup, the mouthguard… she’s a pitbull out there who you can’t help but remember even after she is gone. Even in a post-Divas era of women’s wrestling, Shayna is a pure intimidator.

CHARISMA: 6.5 – Shayna isn’t knocking you out with her promos; she’s knocking you out with her skill in the squared circle. But when she does speak, she can more than hold her own. She comes across as confident and, frankly, annoyed that anyone thinks they can challenge her. She also has just good ol’ hard-to-rate “presence”.

RINGWORK: 8 – Shayna wrestles a style to make you hate her, even if you want to love her. There have been many times in her career where I was a fan, but I was actively rooting against her because she’s such a good heel. She is powerful and devastating, but also knows how to cheat enough that you can’t just whole-heartedly respect her work.

THOUGHTS: 21/30 – Shayna is never going to get the run in WWE that she did in NXT. She’s already 40 and has settled into the tag team ranks with Nia Jax, and that seems to be her main roster ceiling, unfortunately. Still, if WWE ever wanted to rehab her for a short-term singles title run, it would be easy to buy because she has all the tools.

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BREEZANGO

STEW’S THOUGHTS

LOOK: 4.5/10 – Dango is more ripped; Tyler has the more expressive face. But they are both pretty much just dudes you wouldn’t expect to see as professional combatants. All told, I think they work out well enough to one average wrestler. Individually I might give them 5 for Dango and 4 for Breeze.

CHARISMA: 7.5/10 – These two are wildly entertaining when allowed to just riff and go. Remember their Fashion Police skits that were the highlight of Smackdown for a while? They are a fun unit! Individually, Fandango has a strikingly powerful voice and he seems to never ever break character. Tyler is a gem on UpUpDownDown, and he could be a star if he got to have more unscripted moments in wrestling. I’d break them down as 7.5 for Fandango, 8 for Breeze.

RINGWORK: 6.5/10 – They’re both good, but they often overshadowed by the rest of the NXT locker room which is so often downright exceptional. But these two don’t have bad matches as a rule, and are pretty dependable as a midcard tag team. It’s too bad that even in NXT they don’t get enough time to shine. Give them more stuff to do, NXT! 6 for Fandango, 7 for Tyler.

THOUGHTS: 18.5/30 – An oddly high score perhaps, but I’ll confess to being a mark for Tyler Breeze. I don’t understand how he has never had a solid run with a midcard title and more promo opportunities. Fandango has proven to be an asset and able to get over, but again… he just never erupted the way he should have. I love these guys individually, and they seem to be having fun as a team. What were my totals here? 18.5 for Dango and 19 for Breeze? Ha, I really do think highly of Tyler, man.

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That’s right! Tyler Breeze is the equal to Brian Cage. I mean, can’t you tell just by looking at them? Separated at birth.

Ah, subjective scoring is fun. Which is why I’m eager to hear your ratings on these folks in the comments! Let me know how you feel about them.

Also, let me know who you want to see us rate going forward!

Until next time… take care!