We’re back, as I INCREDIBLY RELUCTANTLY list the worst Pokémon of each generation.
(At least the first six generations)
((We’ll see from there))
What is the basis for a determining a “worst” Pokémon? It’s easy and scientific! I look at a list of all Pokémon created in each new region, and then I think to myself “Oh, I didn’t like that one for reasons”. And then I do that four more times.
Previously, I’d given out my listing of my absolute favorite Johto-based Pokeys. Given that, for much of Pokémon’s existence, Johto was my favorite region (I’d played either Pokémon Crystal or Pokémon HeartGold for fun far more times than I could count), coming up with a Top Ten was simplicity itself. I had so much fun with that region! What WASN’T there to love?
Well, at least five Pokémon.
So let’s get into those five Pokémon introduced in Generation Two that added the least to the mythos.
LOOK AT THOSE BOTTOM “FANGS”.
They aren’t even Teeth! They are part of this critter’s exterior. Those things are made out of, and directly part of, Granbull’s flesh! So are they… soft? Flexible? Are they made of cartilage, like a nose? Or is Granbull a Pokémon who never teethed properly? Is his skin around his jaw so loose that the teeth just pushed the skin UP instead of piercing through? WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR TEETH, you weird pumpkin-ass Pokémon?
Besides all of that, Generation 2 had an aspect that always bothered me: where are, like, half the Pokémon in the game? In all my Gen 2 playthroughs, I can’t remember ever catching or training a Snubbul/Granbull. Where did he live? I don’t know!
(Actually, this is a problem across almost every generation, now that I think about it for two seconds)
And as of later generations, they retconned this dog from a Normal type to… a Fairy type?
First, some props that keep Delibird from being #2 or #3 on this list: Pokémon Stadium 2 had a ton of fun mini-games. Stadium 2 was a tremendous game overall, but I really loved playing mini-games with friends. And one of those mini-games was Delibird based. So do I have some good memories of DB? I do!
But after the fun of the Delibird Delivery (I might be making that name up) game, all DB offered in the main series of games was a severely underpowered team member whose signature move was so wildly unreliable that it had a chance of HEALING your opponent! When doing a very tiny amount of damage with no status effect is the SECOND worst thing a move can do… how crappy is that?
Deli here does look neat, though. A little… Santa Claus Penguin thing. He seems cheery. Expressive face. They actually put work into designing the guy!
Just a shame he was so terribly useless.
Except in Delibird Delivery!
(I wish I still had my N64)
This one is partially my fault, but… I can never remember what typing this fella is.
I THINK he is Bug/Flying. That seems to make the most sense, right? He’s a ladyBUG, and ladybugs FLY.
But for some reason, I always initially think this thing is Bug/Fighting. Because, you know… ladybugs are notorious for their insect MMA skills, I guess.
No, that’s not it. I think Ledian just learned some Fighting type moves, and those little balled up fists of his confused me.
Maybe he is Fighting/Flying! That would make the least sense!
Ultimately, he’s crummy and not particularly cool or tricky (compare Ledian to its bug alternative, Ariados, and there’s no competition)!
Go be whatever type you are far away from me, Ledian.
How To Make A Terrible Pokémon:
- Make it a fully evolved, final-form Pokemon…
- …that has putrid stats…
- …and that you need an evolution stone to even get…
- …and give it a typing that the generation its based in shits all over.
In another generation, Sunflora might run away with the #1 spot, but luckily, Johto gave us arguably the worst Pokémon in the entire series, so Sunflora is spared this indignity.
But seriously… you have to waste a Sun Stone to get this slow-as-dirt flower Pokémon with low defenses and whose typing gets eaten alive by The Elite Four and the Champion.
We got BELLOSOM in this same generation. Another pure Grass type that needs a Sun Stone to evolve, but it looks WAY cooler and has better (though admittedly not substantially better) stats.
Oh my god, I hate this thing.
First, usability: do not use Unown. Terrible stats, awful movepool. It’s not designed to actually be used in game.
The entire purpose of Unown is to give you a little in-game challenge that is far more tedious than fun.
You see, there are 28 different appearances for Unown. All 26 letters of the alphabet, and then two punctuation marks. So… catch them all, and you can spells words with them!
I have never ever ever ever bothered trying to catch all 28 Unown. I’m sure it’s not even as easy as “walk around where they live and wait until you encounter them all”; I’m pretty sure a handful of them are only available certain places or certain times of day or certain… I don’t care.
Catch one. It’s in my Pokedex. Great, the end.
So that’s it. I did really like Generation 2, so this was difficult. I mean… Delibird Delivery was quite fun.
(Was it really called that, because I have tripled down on that name)
((Delibird‘s Delivery! I was extremely close!))
Next time, we’ll be looking at the five worst Pokemon introduced to us in the Hoenn region, so until then… take care!