I had a choice to make recently between watching the 1958 The Blob or the 1988 remake thereof. Obviously I ended up going with the original.

I’m not nearly as anti-remake as a lot of folks are; I recognize that across Hollywood’s history, there have been several great remade movies. And some have even surpassed the originals! But for this instance, I was following my instinct to try to watch more older movies when and where possible. So I went with the Steve McQueen drive-in classic.

The Blob 1958 is the story of a small mass from space landing in a quaint town. It is discovered by a local resident and affixes itself to his hand! When some teenagers drive up to see what’s going on, they get caught up in trying to help the old man out. They drive him to a doctor and by the time they get there, the thing on his hand has spread to envelope his entire arm!

Shenanigans ensue for a while, then the blob ends up consuming the old man entirely before turning its sights on the doc. Will the two teens be able to convince the rest of the town of the danger they are all in?

TWO UPS AND TWO DOWNS

+ The original The Blob clocks in at under 85 minutes. It’s very brief and easy to watch. It does not waste a lot of time doing what it needs to do, and there’s no unnecessary details. It’s a remnant of a bygone era where audiences did not necessarily want or need everything explained to them. What is the blob? From where does it come? Why is it here? None of those are answered because it was the 50’s, daddio! The blob just IS, man!

There’s something to be said for old school filmmaking like that that we really don’t go so much of anymore. If The Blob first came out in 2026, it would be a hundred minutes long, and the first fifteen would be dealing with the mucus creature’s origins and purpose. We wouldn’t just leave well enough alone with it. But in 1958, American horror screenwriters just wanted to get to their meat and potatoes. Respect.

+ The movie is funny and enjoyable and silly. Perhaps not intentionally so, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is. You’ve got actors that are clearly creeping up on 30–if not already there–playing teenagers, and zany subplots like Steve McQueen forgetting his date’s name for no reason at the beginning of the movie, and pretty lame (but trying very hard!) blobular special effects. It’s all a bit whacky, and I can not say I was ever bored watching The Blob. Whether I was supposed to be or not, I was usually laughing.

Obviously this flick has a very “Mystery Science Theater 3000” sheen to it. Watching it reminded me of so many bad D-grade science fiction movies I have seen Mike and Joel and the ‘bots heckle on that show. What’s the difference between those pictures and The Blob (1958)? Not much! Other than that this movie actually got popular and successful. Quality-wise, it’s right in line with the classic show’s target pictures.

– The acting is tremendously bad across the board. No one does a particularly great job here, unfortunately. I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on Steve McQueen, but if this is his level of acting talent across his resume… well… I can’t say I’m dying to see much more from him. Maybe he was not a natural fit for this movie or its genre? Perhaps he wasn’t comfortable playing eleven years younger than he actually was. But whatever the detriment was here, it shows.

And it’s not just him. Everyone is delivering ham-fisted dialogue as if their lives depend on being the biggest personality on the screen. No performer stands out from any other as being “The Believable One”. Maybe Earl Rowe as the police lieutenant does a better job than some of the others, but it’s just a little superior and it might be because his fellow cops play such hotheads that he seems reasonable and measured in return. But yeah, I can’t say I was enamored of any of the acting in this flick.  

– The story is abject nonsense and nothing REALLY happens of note until the last 15 minutes or so, and then it gets very frantic. The movie spends a lot of time on McQueen and his date running around and yelling at everyone that there is a monster, but even with the bargain basement special effects, the film isn’t actually interested in showing too much of the titular creature. So instead you get a scene of kids racing backwards on a quiet road or McQueen and his girlfriend sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night.

And then, The Blob packs everything into the end of the film! Suddenly the beast attacks and everyone in town sees its rampage. A few characters are trapped in a diner, and McQueen pretty quickly discerns its weakness and manages to get word out to the cops. The film actually ends in a pretty foreboding manner here in our present-day climate change affected world, where the blob is dropped off in the Arctic to stay frozen, and one character says we’ll stay safe as long as the Arctic remains cold.

I don’t know. It’s very poorly paced, really. They just couldn’t figure out how to mete out scares with character work evenly.

OVERALL

While not unenjoyable, The Blob is not a very good movie on anything resembling a technical level. The acting and the pacing in particular are rough. But if you shut your brain off, or you go in just to laugh at it, you can still have yourself a good time.