Guys, my house is a wreck.
We have started decorating for Halloween and getting everything spookified, but the interior of the house constantly looks like a bomb went off. We are not an organized people. This isn’t even related to the decorations; it’s just the constant state of our home!
We always have these designs on “Oh, we’ll do a little cleaning each weekend, and then the weekend of the party, all we will have to do is clean the floors and cook”.
And then we… don’t.
So as we get closer to Halloween, the pressure of how terrible it will be to clean up for the party gets worse and worse.
Two more weekends. I’ll try to get us motivated…
I went another movie spree to start October, with, what, 14 movies in 15 days? Pretty happy with that! I’m not doing the 31 horror movies in 31 days thing for October–I watch horror all year, so what’s the point? Even with my breakneck pace at times, a movie per day seems ROUGH. I’m shooting for 200 by the end of the year. To hit 365 seems very Man Of La Mancha.
I typically talk about movies from the lowest rated to the highest, and I am DEFINITELY building to something here, and I am excited!
A whopping THREE one-star movies this go around! Wow! Well, when you do 14 in 15, they can’t all be winners. Idle Hands is a trash movie. Seth Green is trying his level best, and there is some decent physical comedy from Devon Sawa early on, but aside from that, it’s a sloppy mess of bad jokes and lame “horror”. I gave Halloween Resurrection a 1.0, and that is generous. I get much, much more in depth on that in a soon-to-be-released episode of Pint O’ Comics, and you’ll find the link to that on my Twitter when it’s out. It remains the worst Halloween movie.
Does anyone actually unironically enjoy Point Break? Flick is BAD, and Johnny Utah is in the running for Worst Movie Character ever. Keanu Reeves is a star who absolutely became a powerhouse actor, and he absolutely did so sometime AFTER filming Point Break. I was reviewing Point Break before the movie fully ended, and I had it as 1.5, but as the movie was ending, I said “I swear to god, if he lets Patrick Swayze free to go surf that wave, I’m knocking the last half star off of here”.
And he did.
And I did.
Speaking of not-that-good cop movies from that era, we have Tango And Cash! I kept hearing podcasts I listen to reference this work, so I checked it out. Not impressed! It tries to be funny and mostly fails, and some scenes (The Cleopatra Club) and characters (Kurt Russell’s Q-Lite buddy) feel like they were imported from an entirely different piece of celluloid.
See No Evil 2 is a bad horror movie that stars Danielle Harris and Katherine Isabelle, so I can’t even be mad at it. Venom: Let There Be Carnage is a bad movie that has Tom Hardy talking to himself a lot, so I also can not be mad at that. These Venom movies need to stop being action flicks and just go full odd couple sitcom instead. riot and Carnage take such a backseat to the Eddie/Venom bromance.
Con Air is what Point Break and Tango & Cash WANTED to be. It’s stupid, awful, and self-indulgent, but all in very good ways. The last half hour or so is just a treasure trove of absurd lunacy, and it let me forgive the many, Many, MANY things the flick did wrong on the way there. Like… why was Steve Buscemi here again?
Both of my 3.5 star ratings–Blade and Kingsman: The Secret Service–will be up as episode-length reviews on a future episode of the Stew World Order podcast! Subscribe and check those out when they release!
A BUNCH of movies clocked in a 4.0 in this stretch, which made for a good run, even though three out of the four were rewatches. The new experience for me was You Cannot Kill David Arquette, a documentary about the star’s venture into the world of independent wrestling. It was entertaining and heart-warming enough. I’m sure much of it was manipulated for the drama of the doc–no part of me believes Arquette would have done the backyard wrestling federation if he wasn’t doing the movie–but I still greatly enjoyed it.
Scream I watched for yet another review on another show–my October is FULL of things I have watched and am yet to watch either for my show or another I was invited onto–this time for the Collateral Cinema podcast. There are 1990’s classic movies that have aged very well (Terminator 2, Jurassic Park) and ones that haven’t (The Matrix), and I’m pleased to say Scream is one of the former.
Remember what I said about Con Air being a better version of Point Break and Tango & Cash? The Rock is an EVEN BETTER better version. Ludicrous, over-the-top, loud and unapologetic action movies can still be fun! Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle still makes me actually laugh out loud. The subversiveness of it all holds up–it may be better now than it was back when it came out–and Kal Penn and John Cho give such star-making performances.
And then… that leaves the one five star film.
Your Name (I’ll leave the period off of the end for ease of reading) was simply beautiful. There are very few movies I’ve watched in my life where WHILE I WAS WATCHING THEM, I knew I was beholding something special. But that was the effect that Your Name had on me.
I was a little confused at first because it seemed the movie was telling things in a weird order, and then there are some strange cuts where the movie almost kind of feels like a TV show, but after the first 20 minutes, I was entirely hooked. The twist was stunning, and by the end of the movie, I cared more about the characters than I do myself.
Loved Your Name. LOVED IT.
I almost never give a movie five stars on one viewing. Not only did I give Your Name a five, but I also put it in my top ten movies ever.
It was glorious.
I mentioned this series before when I started it, and I’ve gotten through the first five volumes now! And here I appear to be momentarily stuck because none of the Barnes & Nobles around me have volume 6 for some reason. I’ll eventually crack and get it on Amazon, I’m sure.
Obviously I’m a fan. It’s an adorably fun series with great characters and humorous moments. It’s about as Not Watchmen as humanly possible, but I still really dig it. After failing with Nichijou and Yotsuba, I have finally found a book that scratches that Azumanga Daioh itch.
In preparation for the upcoming Disney+ show, I’ve also been re-reading Matt Fraction and David Aja’s Hawkeye run. Still love this book. What are the odds I can get my wife to read it, too? I think she could enjoy it if she’d give it an even shake.
Hey, I finally finished Fallout 4 last night! I mean, as much as you FINISH a Fallout game. I completed the main storyline, I should say. I appreciate any game that lets you shoot your elderly, cancer-ridden son in the head while he lay sick in bed.
So at least that’s over for now. We’ll see if I get immediately sucked into anything else…
Until next time… take care!