Pop-Tarts is back on the Girl Scouts track this week, as we review Frosted Coconut Caramel! I am not sure that these are a Girl Scouts cookie that I have ever indulged in, but I’ve always been a pretty strictly Thin Mints kind of guy. That said, aren’t Tagalongs a Girl Scouts cookie? With the peanut butter on the inside? Pop-Tarts could totally have made … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Coconut Caramel
Mint and chocolate, man. They deserve each other. I mean, let’s face it: chocolate goes great with a lot of things. Peanut butter. Caramel. Lemonade (don’t knock it!). But I always think that mint is one of the best flavors you can mix with the delicious dark stuff. I remember ages ago I was at Bath And Bodyworks, and they had a chocolate mint candle … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Thin Mints
It has been A WHILE since Pop-Tarts released a new flavor, but don’t worry: every time I go to a store, I scour the shelves to make sure I haven’t missed any. They have just been resting on their laurels flavors-wise while they prepare more fun antics for the Pop-Tarts Bowl Game every January. Which, incidentally, is a fine usage of their time. I love … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Lemon Blueberry Crumble
I do not for the life of me understand the usage of the word “Chocolatey” here. Could we… could we really not just call these “chocolate chip pancakes”. What does calling them “chocolately” add to the equation? Are we implying that these aren’t chocolate, they are just chocolate-y? Chocolate-adjacent? The idea of chocolate? But here we are with another Breakfast Flavored Breakfast edition of the … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Chocolatey Chip Pancake
Oh no. Well; this brings back awful memories. Apple Jacks isn’t Pop-Tarts’ first foray into making cereal flavored Tarts. They previously tried this with Fruit Loops, and as you can see from the link I posted, those were ABOMINABLE. Just absolutely sickly sweet garbage people food. Right down there with Watermelon on the list of “I can’t even finish these” Tarts. It was a big … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Apple Jacks
Banana Bread is a myth. Here is my proof: Every so often, my wife and I will buy bananas. And, as bananas do, sometimes they go REAL brown before we eat them all. At that point, my wife will say, “Oh! I’ll freeze them, and then eventually, I will make some banana bread!” You know what my wife has never ever made? Banana Bread. So … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Banana Bread
MERRY CHRISTMAS! Wait, is that… this isn’t that holiday, is it? Well, whatever; I found a store that was recently selling this flavor of Pop-Tarts, and while they feel like a holdover from the holiday season several months ago at this point, they are the Tarts I have for this holiday! (Yes, these were definitely held onto for a while; this box expires THIS MONTH … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Gingerbread
Look, Pop-Tarts, you have officially gone too far. I’ve stood by you through a lot of flavors. A LOT at this point. You’ve given us some divine treats and some absolutely putrid tarts. I see that you are willing to throw anything and everything at the wall in order to see what will drive sales. And I respect that! You are a creative force; I … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Snickerdoodles
Pop-Tarts keeps using words I don’t know. Like Cobbler. Now Fritter. What is that? It makes me think of a… small rodent. Is this the flavor of a small rodent that just ate an apple? Is that what I want from my breakfast? What is that picture on the box next to the name? It looks like something somebody stepped on. Is that the small … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Apple Fritter
I’m not sure I’d ever heard of a mango before, like, 15 years ago. Look, when I was growing up, there were eight fruits. Apples, oranges, grapes, lemons, other color apples, other color grapes, watermelons, and strawberries. We didn’t have all these fanciful tropical fruits that you Zoomers grew up with! That was it! We didn’t even know about blueberries; we didn’t know food could … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Tropical Mango
First: I always get Churros and Crepes confused! I think the reason for that–aside from the fact that they are both foreign treats that start with a C–is that when I was in the Dominican Republic*, I had crepes once. And so I assume crepes are more Hispanic than they actually are. It’s the only time I had a crepe! My wife was lost on … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Day Of The Dead!
I rather infamously do not like coffee. Even before I cut any relevant amount of caffeine out of my life about 15 years ago, I did not drink coffee. Shit’s gross, guys;I don’t know how you do it. If I did drink coffee, it would 100% have to be one of those versions that has twelve words in the name, at least eight of which … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Mocha Latte
I’m supposed to make a witty Stranger Things pop culture reference here, aren’t I? Like… “Oh, an Eggo flavored Pop-Tart! That’s one of the Stranger Things I’ll see today! I bet the flavor is turned up to Eleven!” (Actually, that… that was good. I should have just led off with that after all) Anyway, the reason I was reluctant to do so initially is because … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Eggo Flavor!
I don’t… I don’t drink coffee. Never have, actually. When I was younger, I just thought it was gross as shit (it is!), but then, in my mid-20’s, I just cut out almost all caffeine from my life entirely, so even if I had been drinking it… I wouldn’t be now. (I wish I could say I felt appreciable differences before and after dropping caffeine. … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Boston Creme Pie
IN A WORLD WHERE SOME PEOPLE THINK “SALT” AND “SWEET” BELONG TOGETHER, POP-TARTS HAS YOUR BACK. USUALLY YOU WILL FIND PRETZELS TO BE TWISTY-TURNEY TREATS, BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE… FLAT? THIS IS… POP-TART QUEST! I don’t know that there is a single mall around me that doesn’t have, like, at least TWO Auntie Anne’s Pretzel Shops. And usually in close proximity to one another. … Continue reading Pop-Tart Quest: Pretzel Tarts
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